YSG 的部落格

Down the Via Dolorosa in Jerusalem that day
The soldiers tried to clear the narrow street
But the crowd pressed in to see the Man condemned to die on Calvary

He was bleeding from a beating, there were stripes upon His back
And He wore a crown of thorns upon His head
And He bore with every step the scorn of those who cried out for His death

Down the Via Dolorosa called the way of suffering
Like a lamb came the Messiah, Christ the King
But He chose to walk that road out of His love, for you and me
Down the Via Dolorosa, all the way to Calvary

The blood that would cleanse the souls of all men
Made its way through the heart of Jerusalem

"Via Dolorosa"
Niles Borop and Billy Sprague, 1983

　　填完詞，寫了封電郵略談譯寫過程。既然寫了，整理一下放上來，留個記號也好。

後記：竟然發現，「蹣跚」的「蹣」字音「門」或「盤」，而不是「滿」。

以下幾個是我譯寫時參考過的譯本：

看哪，神的帳幕在人間，他要與人同住，他們要作他的子民，神要親自與他們同在，作他們的神。

〈啟示錄〉廿一：３

　　說起天幕，油然想起夜空中繁星滿天。「﹝耶和華﹞於是領他﹝亞伯蘭﹞走到外邊說：『你向天觀看，數算眾星，能數得過來麼？』又對他說：『你的後裔將要如此。』」（創十五 5）我看見一幅圖畫，描繪神藉著萬串繁星給亞伯蘭賜下萬串應許。而讀著牧師的主題介紹，則深受其中一段感動：「神要設立的帳幕是遠超過以色列人的想像，覆蓋萬國中的人。神這預言在耶穌基督身上開始應驗，約一 14 寫道：『道成了肉身，住在我們中間，充充滿滿的有恩典有真理。』」這就是 Emmanuel，神與我們同在，在你在我中間。

　　若以文章作法分析，這勉強算是起和承，接下來的就是轉和合，是時候點出主題。與此同時，還要處理一句重複了三次的樂句。可是填到這裡，就停了好幾天。腦筋轉不過來。

　　幾天後。

　　「天幕運動」的主題是帳幕。「神的帳幕在人間」裡「帳幕」一詞，既與約翰福音所說「住在我們中間」的「住」字字根相同，且可以上溯至舊約的「會幕」——會幕在舊約中正是神臨在以色列民的表徵。我想，這不就是神的國度嗎？神的國正在一個已經但未完成的狀態（already but not yet），於是我們要宣告：神國要彰顯，神國快彰顯，神國已彰顯。

　　 當我還在考量歌詞要著重神哪種屬性的時候，神使我知道，原來「帳幕」一詞的希臘原文（Skene），正好對應希伯來文「上帝的榮耀」（Shechinah）一字。由於這兩個字讀音相同，多本釋經書都說，每逢讀到其中一個字，人便自然會聯想到第二個字。對，這正是我們一生要敬拜神的原因：神滿有榮耀，祂的榮光充滿全地。

　　 願我們藉著「天幕運動」一連串的操練，更新靈性，深化與神的關係，一同欣然期盼天幕在人間。

《銅浸會訊》2012 年 3 月號（第一零五期）

Crown Him King of kings,
crown Him Lord of lords.
Wonderful, Counsellor,
Almighty God.
Emmanuel - God is with us.
And He shall reign, He shall reign,
He shall reign for ever more.

"Crown Him King Of Kings"
Sharon Damazio, 1991

Come and see, come and see,
come and see the King of love;
see the purple robe and crown of thorns he wears.
Soldiers mock, rulers sneer,
as he lifts the cruel cross;
lone and friendless now he climbs towards the hill.

We worship at your feet,
where wrath and mercy meet,
and a guilty world is washed by love's pure stream;
for us he was made sin,
oh, help me take it in;
deep wounds of love cry out, 'Father, forgive!'
I worship, I worship the Lamb who was slain.

Come and weep, come and mourn,
for your sin that pierced him there;
so much deeper than the wounds of thorn and nail.
All our pride, all our greed,
all our fallenness and shame -
and the Lord has laid the punishment on him.

Man of heaven, born to earth
to restore us to your heaven:
here we bow in awe beneath your searching eyes.
From your tears comes our joy,
from your death our life shall spring;
by your resurrection power we shall rise!

"Come And See" (We Worship At Your Feet)
Graham Kendrick, 1989

In God's green pastures feeding, by His cool waters lie;
Soft, in the evening walk my Lord and I.
All the sheep of His pastures fare so wondrously fine,
His sheep am I.

Waters cool, [in the valley,]
pastures green, [on the mountain,]
In the evening [in the evening] walk my Lord and I;
Dark the night, [in the valley,]
rough the way, [on the mountain,]
Step by step, [step by step,] my Lord and I.

"His Sheep Am I"
Orien Johnson, 1956

（一）

　　和劉福群何統雄林翠薇合譯的〈我是主的羊〉一向相安無事，直到最近才知道到原來不少人都以為我是豬的羊。
　　哈，有趣。更進一步的話，不就是鵝是豬的羊了嗎？

　　早陣子，ＬＹ和路域不約而同推介《船山筆記》網誌，裡頭就有一篇提及 "His Sheep Am I" 這首詩歌。
　　網主寫道：「今天聽到一個新版本，第一句已經精神為之一振。用字稍異，較合音，不倒字，音樂稍加將就。」那是全新的譯本，陳鈞潤執筆。
　　看了，的是高手。
　　想了一陣，只記得見過陳鈞潤這名字。原來自己曾提過他的名字：他翻譯了舞台劇《相約星期二》。
　　唯一可挑剔的，是「崇屹」二字太深（我幾乎把這首歌看作兒歌了）。於是，路域在電郵裡鼓勵我也填一填。
　　就有了這個版本。
　　到底還是自己好勝，竟敢班門弄斧。

　　有心人不難看到一些陳鈞潤版的痕跡。其實，當中還有另一個版本。

主領我到青草地　安歇在溪水旁
黃昏時主與我一路同行
牧場上主的羊都得飽足心快暢
我是主的羊

┌青草地　　　　溪水旁
└　　　死蔭幽谷　　　高山峻嶺
┌黃昏時　　　有主與我同行
└　　　黃昏時有主與我同行
┌黑暗夜　　　　路崎嶇
└　　　死蔭幽谷　　　高山峻嶺
┌每一步　　　跟隨主行
└　　　每一步跟隨主行

〈我是主的羊〉
Orien Johnson 曲．劉福群、何統雄、林翠薇譯

主領導　來到綠茵清溪水泉傍
當黃昏　偕恩主一處行
此棧羊隻屬於主的都強壯
我是主的羊

┌青草地　　　　溪澗傍
└　　　林蔭幽谷　　　崇屹山嶽
┌天將晚　　偕主你結伴往
└　　　黃昏偕主你結伴往
┌黑暗夜　　　　山路傍
└　　　林蔭幽谷　　　崇屹山嶽
┌偕主你　　　邁步前行
└　　　隨著主邁步前行

〈我是主的羊〉
Orien Johnson 曲．陳鈞潤譯

主帶著羊群在安躺草場中
我原是上主一隻小白羊
休歇在河畔我真快樂和飽足
因有主看顧

┌您帶路　　　　您伴隨
└　　　常作安慰　　　扶助鼓勵
┌感激您　　　身邊作好牧者
└　　　常在我身邊作好牧者
┌高山嶺　　　　低谷裡
└　　　無懼挑戰　　　無懼障礙
┌心緊靠　　　跟主腳步
└　　　憑著信跟主腳步

〈我是主的羊〉
Orien Johnson 曲．歌詞引自《可喜可樂之城》第一輯

（二）

　　譯寫時，在網上找資料，其中有兩條值得一記。

• 〈從「中文聖詩點解唔啱音」管窺三、四十年代傳教士來華史〉，《潑墨館》，http://mypaper.pchome.com.tw/lunyeah/post/1252202931
  譯寫青年聖歌版本的劉福群，原來是來華宣教的美國牧師，本名 William Crawford Newbern (1900-1972)。
• 〈顛覆、掃興或平衡：我是主的羊〉，《鏡子翻譯館》，http://esther200679.mysinablog.com/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=1942473
  和路加福音記載的經文平排看：「主說：『你們去吧！看！我差你們出去，如同羔羊進入狼群。』」似乎有另一番體會。

　　〈從「中文聖詩點解唔啱音」管窺三、四十年代傳教士來華史〉觸及聖詩中譯歌詞不叶音的問題。作者的論點也許能剖析中文聖詩不叶音因由之一二：「那些寫於三、四、五十年代的中文聖詩更大多出於外國人之手。這就不難明白為何很多聖詩都『不協音律』……而事實上，劉福群牧師於一九二五年便『完成華語學習』。只花了三年便『完成學習』，可見其中文程度有限，即使他以後一直有學習中文，也不難預計他之後譯出來的聖詩會『不協音律』。」可是只要我們拿起近年出版的詩集一看，不叶音的情況依然觸目皆是。難道依然是外國人譯寫嗎？

　　愚以為原因有三：

• 語言：當年大夥兒說的是國語還是廣東話呢？這我不清楚，不過我們知道國語歌詞叶音問題相對較少。要是對象是說國語的，問題自然不大。
• 時間：當年中國還沒有太多聖詩創作吧？需要大量詩歌時似乎不靠翻譯外文不行。時間倉促，又哪能計較叶音與否呢？
• 神學：神學究竟凌駕一切，不能因為要叶音而犧牲神學。要兩者並存，是功力問題，也是時間問題。這恐怕也是新詩集遇到的困難。

　　「中文聖詩點解唔啱音」這題目或許可以探討得更深入，不過我懂得的太少，題目本身又未必特別重要，若要像〈從〉一文般觸類旁通則更不是我力所能及的了。就在此打住吧。

You did not wait for me to draw near to You,
but You clothed Yourself with frail humanity.
You did not wait for me to cry out to You,
but You let me hear Your voice calling me

And I'm forever grateful to You,
I'm forever grateful for the cross,
I'm forever grateful to You,
that You came to seek and save the lost.

"You Did Not Wait For Me" (I'm Forever Grateful)
Mark Altrogge, 1985

　　應阿闊邀稿，譯寫了這首詩歌。
　　也是我鍾愛的。

　　一個星期的貨仔，居然覺得挺不錯。
　　寫到「感激得你追尋救拯」有點猶疑。救拯？拯救？不過，想起了〈雷鳥拯救隊〉。

　　和原詞最大的分別有二。（因為短，所以明顯，明顯得刻意。）
　　第一，原詞中，正歌主語為「你」，副歌為「我」；譯詞中，整首詞都以「我」為主語。
　　第二，原詞中正歌第二句消失了。譯詞卻加了最後一句。
　　消失，因為整首歌簡單清晰，這句歌詞填到中文去也許會變得複雜。
　　增加，因為一路譯寫，心裡越發想到神在創世以先，就已為我們預備了救恩。這是何等大的恩情啊！

Be still, for the presence of the Lord, the holy One, is here;
Come bow before Him now with reverence and fear.
In Him no sin is found, we stand on holy ground.
Be still, for the presence of the Lord, the holy One, is here.

Be still, for the glory of the Lord is shining all around;
He burns with holy fire, with splendour He is crowned.
How awesome is the sight - our radiant King of light.
Be still, for the glory of the Lord is shining all around.

Be still, for the power of the Lord is moving in this place:
He comes to cleanse and heal, to minister His grace -
No work too hard for Him, in faith receive from Him.
Be still, for the power of the Lord is moving in this place.

"Be Still, For The Presence Of The Lord"
David J Evans, 1986

　　印象開始模糊了——恐怕還陸續有來——第一次聽這首詩歌是甚麼時候呢？
　　一直以為是唸預科那兩年。那時，隨師兄到小教堂，聽他練管風琴，給他當琴僮、翻琴譜。
　　轉念一想，又會否是初中音樂課老師教過的呢？
　　都過去了。
　　唯一可以肯定的，是這是另一首我譯寫了超過十年的詩歌。不過，只有一句是最初的版本，就是提綱挈領的「齊來靜佇至聖者跟前」。

　　還有別的印象，零碎的。
　　一次，約伯學兄分享這首詩歌，說最喜歡那句 "no work too hard for Him"，因為在人不能，在神凡事都能。所以譯寫時我跟自己說，一定要完整而直接地保留這層意思。
　　另一次，我跟他們說想寫個廣東話版本，忘了是 Benny 還是 Cat，說他的朋友寫過了，有機會拿給我看看。不過沒了下文。後來，反而在《恩頌聖歌》找到了〈在主前靜默〉。

　　看著自己的版本，不要說原裝比不上，連恩頌的也不及，甚至也不是自己心目中的那個模樣。
　　心想，花了這許多年，神不似，也要形似吧？原詩第一二（四）句押韻：我勉勉強強押了首尾句，勉勉強強混了過去；原詩第三句分句押韻：於第二節，我居然杜撰「熾熾」一詞，試圖用對偶的形式來代替押韻（真虧自己想得出來做得出來）。
　　至於神似與否，我看，原裝清純，恩頌莊嚴，我的嘛，一半半啦。
　　既然力有未逮，是否應該要如恩頌般老老實實地翻譯呢，還是……？
　　莫要影響了 LY 和 sister six 對這首詩歌的鍾愛。

Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

"Blessèd Assurance"
Words: Fanny J Crosby, 1873
Music: Phoebe P Knapp, 1873 (ASSURANCE)

（一）

Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine!
O what a foretaste of glory divine!
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood.

一天，Knapp 太太走來給我彈了一段她寫的旋律，彈了好幾遍。接著問我，旋律在說甚麼嗎？我答道："Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine!"

　　有福的確據，耶穌屬我！
　　這就是著名的聖詩 "Blessèd Assurance"，〈有福的確據〉。

　　近日心情鬱悶，偶然想起這首聖詩，隨即開始譯寫。
　　最難譯寫的正是第一句："Blessèd assurance, Jesus is mine!" 大多數詩集的譯詞都是「有福的確據，耶穌屬我！」意思對了，奈何粵音不協。
　　填著填著，第一句歌詞，居然放到了最末，開宗明義的宣告變作沉澱低迴的感恩。

　　隨手翻開較早期的中譯詩集，如《普天頌讚》、《頌主新歌》、《青年聖歌》等，歌詞雖然與廣東話不協，但遣詞用字卻是何等的優雅。英文聖詩經得起歲月消磨，除了是神的恩典，也是樂曲本身旋律和歌詞的配合，就是純粹讀著歌詞也是件賞心悅目的事。幸好，我們的前輩文字根底好，譯寫出來不失神韻。
　　偏有一班頑梗而又愛寫字的人，如我，想重新為這些聖詩配上廣東話詞。

（二）

Perfect submission, perfect delight,
Visions of rapture now burst on my sight;
Angels descending bring from above
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love.

　　這一段歌詞原文大概說：完全順服於主，歡欣滿載心坎，歡騰的異象忽然在我眼前顯現；天使由天而降，唱和神的憐憫，談論神的慈愛。
　　可是參考過幾個中譯本，"Visions of rapture now burst on my sight" 都譯得不好：「天堂的榮耀顯在我心」、「天堂的榮耀顯在我心裡」、「有福的異象顯在我心裡」。
　　我不知道在神學上 rapture 是否有榮耀的意思，但我傾向認為詞人感到這片景象充滿天堂的榮耀。然而，不論是榮耀還是異象，中譯都說「顯在我心」，這就值得深思。
　　也許中國人素來認為人以心為主，心主宰人的一切。在看東西的層面上，我們有心眼，於是可以「眼盲心不盲」。那麼，「顯在我心」也就無可厚非，那不過是中英文化的互換罷了。可是，除了文學上的修飾之外，"now burst on my sight" 似乎還另有深意：詩人 Fanny Crosby 是瞎眼的，她看不見望不著，卻說眼前（看見）有異象。這個眼，這個看見，可以不譯嗎？

　　我，雙目健全，看到一切美麗光明物，或會讚歎神奇妙偉大，但有看到雀躍歡騰的異象嗎？

（三）

Perfect submission, all is at rest;
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

　　唱了這許多年的聖詩，要到早一陣子才約略知道樂律（metre）是甚麼一回事。
　　簡單來說，樂律紀錄著一首聖詩正歌（stanza）每句旋律的音節數目。如果是 8.8.8.8.，那就表示正歌有四句，每句可配八個音節。拿〈有福的確據〉做例子，就是 9.10.9.9.Ref.（Ref 是 Refrain，副歌）。（奇怪的是，有好些〈有福的確據〉的中譯版本都把正歌第二句變成九個字。）
　　如果再早一點知道，當年填的 "Thine Be The Glory" 就不會弄到一巖一巉了。記憶中 PS 有提醒過我，說這樣子填詞，別人會很難「拼」音的。不過一來才情有限，二來當時不懂音律（現在也不懂 @@），也就沒有改動。這壞習慣要到了 "I Cannot Tell" 才真的戒掉了。

　　樂律也許還包含一些規矩，例如拍子強弱、音節輕重、歌詞押韻等等。亦由於有這些規矩，所以同一闋歌詞可以放在任何樂律相同的旋律裡。
　　和我國的詞牌可說是各有千秋呢。

（四）

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long;
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Savior, all the day long.

　　用廣東話填詞還真難。粵語有九聲，音調稍有偏差就變了另一個字；英文和國語似乎沒這回事。副歌原文不過兩句，旋律雖然不同，唱起來完全沒有問題；換上國語歌詞也沒有問題。（不過香港沒多少教會用國語唱傳統聖詩罷？）可是一用粵語，不看歌詞而要完全聽清楚每個字也就不怎麼可能。
　　所以嘛，筆下的副歌只好把原文意思擴充，將沒有寫出來的寫個明白——當然還加上了個人感受。

　　幾個版本都說「這是我信息」，但查過好些字典都查不到 story 有「信息」這一項用法，看來，是詞人增補了原作的意思。然而，總覺得「這是我信息」正經了點，生硬了點。不可以直截了當用「故事」嗎？耶穌捨身救贖，使我們重生，重新成為天父的兒女，是你和我的故事，也是你和我要歌頌、要述說的故事。信息，是太轉折了。

（五）

　　這首聖詩還有個小故事。

　　十九世紀末，德蘭士瓦（或譯特蘭瓦，Transvaal）發生戰役。當一批士兵要出發到前線的時候，若然碰到另一班相識的同袍，他們通常會這樣打招呼：「四九四，好兄弟，四九四。」而回禮總是：「進六，好兄弟，進六。」這些數字有甚麼特別的含意呢？原來，在一本分發到前線的詩集裡頭，編號四九四是〈神與你同在，直至我們重遇時〉（"God Be With You Till We Meet Again"），而「進六」，即編號五百，就是〈有福的確據〉。

延伸閱讀：

• 篇末的小故事見 NetHymnal: Blessèd Assurance
• 原作者 Fanny Crosby 的生平可以參考 Wikipedia: Fanny Crosby 或 NetHymnal: Fanny Crosby，還可以讀讀施以諾的〈詩歌，我的抗憂鬱劑〉
• 樂律的資料可以參考 Wikipedia: Meter

《銅聲同氣》2010 年 9 月刊

神啊！求你為我造一顆清潔的心，
求你使我裡面重新有堅定的靈。
不要把我從你面前丟棄，
不要從我身上收回你的聖靈。
求你使我重得你救恩的喜樂，
重新有樂意的靈支持我。

〈詩　篇〉51:10-12

Change my heart, O God, make it ever true;
change my heart, O God, may I be like you.
You are the potter, I am the clay;
mould me and make me, this is what I pray.
Change my heart, O God, make it ever true;
change my heart, O God, may I be like you.

"Change My Heart, O God"
Eddie Espinosa, 1982

　　這是生命工程奉獻禮中，我們小組獻的詩歌。
　　詩歌早有幾個中譯版本，國語粵語都有。但那天我一時手癢，自把自為，自己譯寫了一趟。有意無意之間，就變成了獻唱的版本。

　　今回譯寫得算快，尤其是中間兩句。
　　聖經說：

We are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.
我們不過是泥土，你才是陶匠；我們眾人都是你手所作的。

〈以賽亞書〉64:8 下

Remember, I beseech thee, that thou hast made me as the clay.
求你記念你造我如摶泥。

〈約伯記〉10:9 上

　　我想到的，還有這節經文：

他必坐著，像熬煉和潔淨銀子的人。

〈瑪拉基書〉3:3 上

　　繼而想起這篇文章：

　　再找。另一段經文：

耶和華有話臨到耶利米，說：「起來，下到陶匠的家裡去，在那裡我要使你聽到我的話。」我就下到陶匠的家裡去，見他正在轉盤旁工作。陶匠用他手中的泥所做的器皿壞了，他就用這泥再做別的器皿，照著自己的意思去作。於是耶和華的話臨到我，說：「以色列家啊！難道我不能待你們像這陶匠所作的一樣嗎？」這是耶和華的宣告。「看哪！泥在陶匠的手中怎樣，以色列家啊！你們在我的手中也必怎樣。」

〈耶利米書〉18:1-6

　　以前讀著，會以為我們不過是神的工具，只能任祂搓圓捏扁、憑己意去「做」我們。現在邊讀經文邊聽詩歌，感受不再一樣。看到的，是神不介意多花功夫：泥一下子做不成好器皿就再做，做到好為止。我們在神手裡也一樣，我們做得不好，神依然會繼續使用，哪怕要從頭做起。

　　同一天，詩班獻唱 "Create In Me A Clear Heart / I Surrender All"，這是我近來最喜歡的獻詩。"Create In Me A Clear Heart" 的歌詞直接引用〈詩篇〉第 51 篇：

Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me.
Create in me a clean heart, O God;
and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from thy presence, O Lord;
and take not thy holy spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation;
and renew a right spirit within me.

"Create In Me A Clean Heart"
Keith Green

　　正如〈箴言〉4:23 說：「你要謹守你的心，勝過謹守一切，因為生命的泉源由此而出。」

延伸閱讀：

• 文章內的經文引用自 King James Version（英文）和新譯本（中文）
• Eddie Espinosa 創作 "Change My Heart, O God" 的故事可參閱 "Change my heart Oh God"，《David 的有感而發》，http://chhsin321.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/change-my-heart-oh-god/
• 這是〈瑪拉基書〉3:3 上故事的原文：

  There was a group of women in a Bible study on the book of Malachi. As they were studying chapter three they came across verse three which says, "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled the women and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out about the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible study.

  That week the woman called up a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest in silver beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that, in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest so as to burn away all the impurities.

  The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot - then she thought again about the verse, that He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver. She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. For if the silver was left even a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

  The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's the easy part -- when I see my image reflected in it."

  If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has His eye on you and will keep His hand on you and watch over you until He sees His image in you.

  Author unknown

奉獻禮於三月廿八日早上
譯詞完於三月二十日凌晨
故事譯文草於復活節前後
全文完於四月廿一日黃昏

《銅聲同氣》2010 年 9 月刊

When I look into your holiness,
When I gaze into your loveliness,
When all things that surround become shadows in the light of you;

When I've found the joy of reaching your heart,
When my will becomes enthroned in your love,
When all things that surround become shadows in the light of you:

I worship you, I worship you,
The reason I live is to worship you.
I worship You, I worship you,
The reason I live is to worship you.

"When I Look Into Your Holiness"
Wayne and Cathy Perrin, 1981

For Thou, O Lord, art high above all the earth,
Thou art exalted far above all gods.
For Thou, O Lord, art high above all the earth,
Thou art exalted far above all gods.

I exalt Thee, I exalt Thee,
I exalt Thee, O Lord.
I exalt Thee, I exalt Thee,
I exalt Thee, O Lord.

"I Exalt Thee"
Pete Sanchez, Jr, 1977, adapted from Psalm 97:9

To God be the glory, great things He has done;
so loved He the world that He gave us His Son,
who yielded His life an atonement for sin,
and opened the life gate that all may go in.

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
let the earth hear His voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
let the people rejoice!
O come to the Father, through Jesus the Son,
and give Him the glory, great things He has done.

O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,
to every believer the promise of God;
the vilest offender who truly believes,
that moment from Jesus a pardon receives.

Great things He has taught us, great things He has done,
and great our rejoicing through Jesus the Son;
but purer, and higher, and greater will be
our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see.

"To God Be The Glory"
Words: Fanny J Crosby, 1875
Music: William H Doane, 1875 (TO GOD BE THE GLORY)

　　總得寫幾句，畢竟這首歌譯寫了好多年了。
　　還在英國的時候，有好幾首歌已經填好了一兩段，但總完成不了。一拖，就拖了一個世紀。現在總算寫好一首（三段變成兩段已屬賴貓），其餘的……

　　是半年前吧。
　　Felix 找了 Billy 和我，要為銅浸四十五週年堂慶寫主題曲。
　　似乎沒有拒絕的理由。
　　於是，Billy 開始譜曲，之後我填詞。

　　十一月初，音樂寫好了，要填詞。
　　填詞是件講感覺的事兒。音樂給我怎樣的感覺，我就寫下怎樣的歌詞。
　　但我喜歡問，喜歡問音樂本身的感覺。於是問 Billy，問他譜曲時想著些甚麼。他卻說，心裡儘想著和弦……我猜呢，一邊也忙著逗書婷呢！
　　感受到的，是滿滿的欣喜、恩典。
　　所以，第一二節正歌寫得很快。

　　滿以為思潮泉湧，豈料兩節過後便後勁不繼。副歌寫過幾遍，就沒一個合意，只好暫且擱下。
　　幾天後，心頭忽然響起讚美之泉的〈展開清晨的翅膀〉，也就是〈詩篇〉139 篇：

我可以往哪裡去躲避你的靈？
我可以往哪裡去逃，可躲避你的面？
我若展開清晨的翅膀飛到地極，
就在那裡，你的雙手也必引導我。

以及〈瑪拉基書〉3:10：

萬軍之耶和華說：「你們要將當納的十分之一全然送入倉庫，使我家有糧，以此試試我是否為你們敞開天上的窗戶，傾福與你們，甚至無處可容。」

　　於是寫下了第三節正歌：「沒處可容／沒處可避／神大愛大能／深觸我心」。

　　避無可避的還有副歌。
　　十二月卅日，施牧師講道，提及神「以恩典為年歲的冠冕」（〈詩篇〉65:11）。這，就是第一節副歌。
　　除夕，Grace 坦誠分享在「福臨香港」的領受。第二天，我寫下了另一節副歌。

　　銅浸四十五年。我呢？在銅浸還沒有十年，代銅浸感恩似乎稍稍僭越。
　　只希望寫下的歌詞，既是事實的記錄，也是夢想的投射。

　　寫著寫著，居然寫了數百字。
　　好詩從來毋須撰文介紹，就算要，也該是名家評彈批注，而不是作者自吹自擂。
　　作者此刻最想做的，是致謝。

　　最想道謝的已經道謝過，這裡就免了吧。
　　也要向施牧師致謝。他身處海外，心繫銅浸，學業繁重卻依然操刀填詞。但最令我感動的，是他對我的信任，容我決斷。
　　謝謝。

　　謝謝神。

二零零八年五月《銅鑼灣浸信會 45 周年紀念特刊》
這分享文章是原裝正版，特刊裡的那一篇經編輯潤色。啊，想讀一讀歌詞的英文版嗎？

Through all these years His hand has guided us,
provided us with blessings innumerable and kind.
Ev'ry test, like a fire, refines our desire
to serve Him with all our strength and mind.

Lord, as we face the days before us,
restore us and fit us a blessing anew.
We will stand firm, believing, His power receiving,
and praise Him for all that He will do.

We are His church, we are His people,
we have been planted here by His design.
To bear Him fruit, to bring Him glory;
He has chosen us, (we are His church), we are His church.

"We Are His Church"
David S Winkler, 1992, for the 150th anniversary of the First Baptist Church of Brenham

　　想說是翻譯，但一望便知不過是效顰之作。
　　雖然交了貨（也獻了詩），但總覺得有點兒負了 MT 所託。
　　只因不是最好的。
　　不過話又得說回來，若然寫得不滿意，便是應承了，恐怕我還是會毀約。
　　信用要守，水準也要。

Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me,
Let there be peace on earth, the peace that was meant to be.
With God as our Father, brothers all are we,
Let me walk with my brother in perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me, let this be the moment now,
With every step I take, let this be my solemn vow,
To take each moment and live each moment in peace, eternally.
Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.

"Let There Be Peace On Earth"
Sy Miller and Jill Jackson, 1955

　　第一次譯歌譯得這樣快，只用了兩個小時許，但已用盡了僅有的時間，因為我只有一晚。所以應承小魚的時候，我說：要寫出來的詞可以用廣東話唱，我辦不到，一晚的時間只能譯成中文。
　　所以呢，一起始就打定當詩來譯。

　　本來可以就此停工，可自己手癢（心癢才對）難搔，便找來旋律，把譯詩嵌進音樂裡去。當然，只能變成國語。

只是我先前以為與我有益的，我現在因基督都當作有損的。不但如此，我也將萬事當作有損的，因我以認識我主基督耶穌為至寶。我為他已經丟棄萬事，看作糞土，為要得著基督，並且得以在他裡面，不是有自己因律法而得的義，乃是有信基督的義，就是因信　神而來的義，使我認識基督，曉得他復活的大能，並且曉得和他一同受苦，效法他的死，或者我也得以從死裡復活。這不是說我已經得著了，已經完全了，我乃是竭力追求，或者可以得著基督耶穌所以得著我的（註：「所以得著我的」或作「所要我得的」）。

〈腓立比書〉3:7-12

All I once held dear, built my life upon,
all this world reveres and wars to own;
all I once thought gain I have counted loss -
spent and worthless now, compared to this.

Knowing You, Jesus,
knowing You, there is no greater thing:
You're my all, You're the best,
You're my joy, my righteousness;
and I love You, Lord.

Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
to be found in You and known as Yours;
to possess by faith what I could not earn -
all-surpassing gift of righteousness.

Oh to know the power of Your risen life,
and to know You in Your sufferings;
to become like You in Your death, my Lord,
so with You to live and never die!

And I love You, Lord... love you, Lord.

"All I Once Held Dear" (Knowing You)
Graham Kendrick, 1993, based on Philippians 3

（一）

　　晚上開組時談起趕稿。姊妹問，不會又論翻譯吧？我坦白答，不、不論翻譯。事實呢？當然不是論，是著手翻。

　　其實說不上翻，雖然本來是英文詩歌。比對著歌詞，中英並不對等。要對等，可以看看《世紀頌讚》第 341 首。

（二）

　　剛過去的七月，在公司團契分享了這首詩歌。同樣說不上分享，因為我連喜歡的原因也沒有，只知道「喜歡」。依稀記得，有一年參加退修，踱步時路過營外，就因為這首歌而住了腳步。

　　回港七年，竟然不曾認真唱過。

（三）

　　不只遲了數天交稿，嚴格來說遲了數月。還記得今年五月的堂慶培靈會嘛？主日崇拜時牧師講投資，經文正是腓立比書第三章。當時就好想寫好這首歌的粵語歌詞，只是手腳太慢……

《銅聲同氣》2006 年 9 月刊

I cannot tell why He Whom angels worship,
Should set His love upon the sons of men,
Or why, as Shepherd, He should seek the wanderers,
To bring them back, they know not how or when.
But this I know, that He was born of Mary
When Bethlehem's manger was His only home,
And that He lived at Nazareth and laboured,
And so the Saviour, Saviour of the world is come.

I cannot tell how silently He suffered,
As with His peace He graced this place of tears,
Or how His heart upon the cross was broken,
The crown of pain to three and thirty years.
But this I know, He heals the brokenhearted,
And stays our sin, and calms our lurking fear,
And lifts the burden from the heavy laden,
For yet the Saviour, Saviour of the world is here.

I cannot tell how He will win the nations,
How He will claim His earthly heritage,
How satisfy the needs and aspirations
Of East and West, of sinner and of sage.
But this I know, all flesh shall see His glory,
And He shall reap the harvest He has sown,
And some glad day His sun shall shine in splendour
When He the Saviour, Saviour of the world is known.

I cannot tell how all the lands shall worship,
When, at His bidding, every storm is stilled,
Or who can say how great the jubilation
When all the hearts of men with love are filled.
But this I know, the skies will thrill with rapture,
And myriad, myriad human voices sing,
And earth to Heaven, and Heaven to earth, will answer:
At last the Saviour, Saviour of the world is King!

"I Cannot Tell"
Words: William Y Fullerton, 1929
Tune: LONDONDERRY AIR, or DANNY BOY, a traditional Irish melody possibly by Rory Dall O'Cahan, 16th century

　　英文原本至少有這四節歌詞，但換成中文，我就只填了一節。能夠四對四整整齊齊當然好，但要趕上復活節就唯有犧牲一點點。
　　也不能說是犧牲。一來我沒有看著英文來填，二來本就覺得耶穌為我們死才是最大的奧祕——雖然這奧祕早解開了，謎底就是愛。

零六．復活節

The first Nowell the angel did say
 was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay;
in fields where they lay keeping their sheep
 on a cold winter's night that was so deep.

Nowell, Nowell, Nowell, Nowell,
born is the King of Israel.

They all looked up and saw a star
 shining in the east, beyond them far,
and to the earth it gave great light
 and so it continued both day and night.

And by the light of that same star
 three wise men came from country far;
to seek for a king was their intent
 and to follow the star wherever it went.

This star drew nigh to the north-west
 o'er Bethlehem it took its rest,
and there it did both stop and stay
 right over the place where Jesus lay.

Then did they know assuredly
 within that house the King did lie;
One entered it them for to see,
 and found the Babe in poverty.
 
Then entered in those wise men three,
 fell rev'rently upon their knee
and offered there, in His presence,
 their gold, and myrrh, and frankincense.

Between an ox stall and an ass,
 this Child truly there He was;
For want of clothing they did Him lay
 all in a manger, among the hay.

Then let us all, with one accord,
 sing praises to our heav'nly Lord;
He made the earth and heav'n of nought
 and with His blood our lives has bought.

If we in our time shall do well,
 we shall be free from death and hell;
For God has prepared for us all
 a resting place in general.

"The First Nowell"
Traditional English Carol, 17th century (THE FIRST NOWELL)

註：

1. Scholars believe the word "Nowell" to actually stand for the phrase, "Now all is well."
2. There is no mention in the Bible that THREE kings came from the east. According to Matthew 2:1 (NIV), "After Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the time of King Herod, Magi from the east came to Jerusalem..." (Here Magi is traditionally translated as Wise Men.)
3. 找著找著，居然找來了九段歌詞。可是，中文那邊卻一直只填得三節。

There is none like You,
no one else can touch my heart like You do.
I could search for all eternity long
and find there is none like You.

Your mercy flows like a river wide,
and healing comes from Your hands.
Suffering children are safe in Your arms;
there is none like You.

"There Is None Like You"
Lenny LeBlanc, 1991

零三．四